Masonology

Abbey's Piano Recital

2011-12-10T21:29:00.001-08:00

Admittedly, I have been dreading this day for quite awhile. Today was Abbey's first piano recital. Its not that I wasn't excited for her (I was), or that I can't stand to listen to piano (I actually enjoy the songs she plays)... its just that I didn't want to have to sit and listen to anyone ELSE'S children play piano. Much to my surprise, I found that I really enjoyed the whole thing. The recital was downtown in an area where the older homes are being restored. This particular home has been transformed into an art center. There are paintings and sculptures throughout the house. It was really awesome. About half of the performances were Christmas songs, and I actually really liked all the arrangements, etc. The whole thing lasted about an hour, and afterward, we had delicious eclairs (which may explain much of the good vibes I had about the afternoon).

Yeah, this house makes an awesome art center, but wouldn't it make an even BETTER haunted house?

Here is Abbey introducing herself and her piece. It was funny to see her get a little nervous (whoa! I just noticed the statue in the background. Nothing brightens up a piano recital like some racy graven images, eh?)

Action Shot

Afterward... all smiles!

Grrr... I forgot to start recording her until halfway through her performance. I had my phone on my lap, ready to go - but maybe I was the nervous one. I did catch some of her first song and then the second song she played with just one hand. On a related topic, does anyone know how to upload video to this blog and retain the video quality?

Great job, Abbey! We are proud of you.

Happy Birthday Abbey

2011-11-24T20:57:00.001-08:00

You've come a long way, baby! We love you!!!

Safety Check

2011-11-15T19:00:00.000-08:00

Can you spot the danger in this picture?

If you think you know what it is, please speak up. Leave a comment with your observed safety infraction.

After 9 days, we still have not received a correct response. The answer I was looking for was: Puddle of water at home plate. Sorry, nobody wins the prize.

Things Big and Scary

2011-11-14T17:30:00.000-08:00

Halloween may have been weeks ago, but I am going to attempt to re-create the mood today by showcasing some of our 'scary' encounters in nature this fall. First off, check out this wasp/hornet's nest we came across recently:

That thing is hanging about 15 feet in the air and is just bigger than a basketball. Yikes!

This little guy was hiding out next to my neighbor's garbage can the other day. That is my foot in the bottom-right of the picture. Just for some perspective, I wear a size 14 shoe and that is one of those big boxes they put apples and such in.

I actually like spiders, and I think it is cool that we live in the far northern edge of a tarantula's range. They are most active (and likely to be seen) in September/October when the males go all nomadic in search of a mate. Hey, you can't fault a guy for that - so, we only kept him in the box long enough to take a picture, then set him loose in the foothills above my house.

This below, my friends, is a photograph taken while Emily and I were attending our second annual Bigfoot Show (yes, you read that correctly). The sculpture behind Emily is allegedly a life-sized creation of a Sasquatch. I really enjoyed the show, but I remain unconvinced that a large hominid roams the wilderness undetected. However, I REALLY wished I would have taken a picture of the Bigfoot feces that was on display at the show. The finder of said feces claims that it was found about 5 miles from my house. Ooooooohhhh!

Some Stuff We Did This Fall...

2011-11-13T21:52:00.000-08:00

We spent a weekend at my buddy's cabin:

We bought bicycles this summer, and have really used them quite a bit:

These probably aren't the best photos of how the bikes were used, but you get the idea.

This is one of our favorite biking trails. We went up there one day without the bikes, but with a camera:

We went to Lagoon for Frightmares. This dumb ride is older than I am. Somewhere, there is a photo of me in that same spot when I was about 4 years old.

Oh, yeah. We also saw this Bald Eagle (look close).

Fall seems to have gone by really fast this year. Snow is already starting to fall here.

What My Kids Wore for Halloween 2011

2011-11-12T14:43:00.000-08:00

OK. You've asked, and I am here to please. Without further ado, I present to you evidence that I am still alive and well in cyberspace and that yet another year of Trick-or-Treating as happened:

Now, let me see if I've got the costumes right. Mylie was a fairy, Garrett was Mickey Mouse (he wasn't happy about it in this picture, but he grew to love it), and Abbey was a ... prep-school plaid-pink wearing witch, I guess?

Beard Ballot 2011

2011-06-17T20:49:00.000-07:00

My beard, which was born at scout camp, is nearing its 2-week birthday on Sunday. It has been itching me like crazy, and I came home from work tonight determined that it must go. However, I'm beginning to feel a sort of closeness to it. I need your help. Please use the comments section to vote 'yeah' or 'nay' to my keeping the beard. Your help is much appreciated...

Yeah, that's quite a bit of gray you see in there.

Abbey asked me to grow it as long as Santa's Beard. She probably assumes that since I already possess his round physique, my transformation to Old St. Nick will be sure to follow. Little does she know that saying this is only HURTING her chances at Christmas time.

She actually asked me to either "Grow it as long as Santa's... or just grow a mustache". Yikes. I'm beginning to seriously wonder what kind of guy she will end up marrying. She one time told us how she thinks Mario (yeah, the Nintendo guy) is very handsome.

There has been a noticeable decrease in the number of hugs and kisses I receive from Mylie.

My vote is 'Nay', but we can let the voters decide...

Foxy Ladies

2011-06-15T22:33:00.000-07:00

I'm lucky to have a great commute. It takes about 15-20 minutes of my day and it is a nice time to relax and enjoy the views of the mountains, etc. I pride myself on the fact that I don't text and drive. Don't get me wrong, I think texting is fine and all (albeit a bit overused) - I just think there is a time and place. I'm so glad that I use my morning and evening commute to simply drive. I listen to the radio and I'm always on the lookout for anything interesting. Every day, I drive by a farm in North Ogden, where I spot deer frequently. Tuesday, I saw something a bit different in the field. The hay had recently been cut, and I spotted an animal perched on the far side. At first, I drove by and simply wondered what I saw. Then, it was killing me. The more I thought about it, the more I thought I saw a coyote. I flipped around and parked my truck next to the field. I keep a pair of binoculars in my pickup, so I grabbed them and jumped in the bed of the truck for a better look. There saw a beautiful red fox, staring at something intently. Excitedly, I went home and grabbed Emily and the kids and we returned with our camera. Things got even better when I realized what mommy fox was staring at: She had a den nearby, with at least 3 pups (aka kits) playing about. I was able to snag a few precious photos:

Meanwhile, the mom watched me carefully. Eventually, I made her nervous, and she let out a VERY loud bark, and disappeared into the trees. I didn't get a great shot of her, but she is beatiful, I tell you. She is very blonde, for a red fox. That is likely why I mistook her for a coyote originally.

Update: The foxes were there again this morning. I sure hope they stick around.

Zion Adventure 2011

2011-06-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

Below are a few photos from my latest adventure. Last week, I led a group of Varsity and Explorer Scouts on a 5-day High Adventure in Zion National Park. From the moment I became involved in Scouting, I knew I wanted to visit Zion as a high adventure activity. Zion has been my favorite place to visit, since I began trekking there about 15 years ago. This year's agenda was altered considerably due to the severe flooding, but we still managed to have a great time. Most of all, it was adventurous.

I wish pictures could ever do this place justice. I like this picture, but it is impossible to truly capture the moment.

Displaying the fine art of the Cannonball

This is what happens when you go with teenage boys. They hunt EVERYTHING.

This is what happens when you go with adult men who think 'they've still got it'.

This is what happens when a Dutch tourist falls 20-feet. This was seriously no laughing matter. We came across this guy, and he really needed our help. That isn't a beard you see on his face - its blood, bubbling out of his mouth. He was missing teeth, had a serious head wound, broken bones in his legs, in need of stitches around his knees, and couldn't remember anything in the past few weeks (including coming to America and taking this fall). Three of us, myself included, joined the Search and Rescue squad, and spent the better part of 3 hours assisting his rescue.

We were about a mile up Hidden Canyon, which is fairly remote and hard to get to. Fortunately for Martin (the 'Flying Dutchman'), we had a medical professional with us. Phil Burnett (in white above), was a true superstar and possibly saved Martin's life.

We eventually got Martin in a transport sled to keep him safe for the rugged trip out of Hidden Canyon. I was astounded when we offered help to the rescuers, and they willingly accepted. "We need all the help we can get", they replied. A few minutes later, I was carrying Martin like a Pall Bearer, only over large boulders, and across tiny ledges. The operation was very military-like, in that there was a squad leader, and we would yell commands like "copy that" while en route.

We took turns hauling the sled and a bunch of gear down the mountain to a place where a helicopter could reach him. We would carry him until we tired out, then would 'bump' out of the sled and let someone else take over. This was exhausting. The big pack you see in the forefront weighs upwards of 50 pounds.

Zion Search and Rescue told us this was the most difficult rescue they had performed in over 18 months. The terrain was rugged, and once we carried Martin out of the canyon, we had to get him up the mountain to a point where he could be airlifted.

After over an hour of work, we finally got him to an open spot up on one of Zion's cliffs, where the helicopter could reach him. What you don't see in this picture are the 1,000 foot cliffs on either side of this flat spot.

We hurried down the mountain to watch the airlift.

It was truly miraculous that we were able to get him safely onto this point (upper-right, above). In another life, I want to be a Search and Rescue professional. They are true heroes.

Best of luck, Martin. I hope he could at least enjoy the view.

Besides saving lives, we did some serious hiking.

My sheer size, and tolerance of cold water sure came in handy.

Here I am leading the boys under a small waterfall.

I thought these things were extinct???

These waterfalls were our trail.

In order for the boys to maintain thinking I am cool, I never let on that I have a paralyzing fear of snakes. I lied and told them how cool I thought this was.

I love Zion.

Slot canyons are so cool, and I believe the perfect activity for a high adventure. To get to this point, we had to trek across the desert, wade up a river, climb up a 25-foot cliff, and swim through ice-cold water. It was well worth the journey.

The Subway.

You can see how it got its name, right?

Serious Hiking. I loved every minute of it.

This one time... We were in a pickle

2011-06-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about incorporating a new series to this blog, where I jot down some random memories and/or stories. These may bore some of you, but I think they are worth documenting. Perhaps they even give insight as to how I developed into the dude that I am. I'm calling it 'This one time...'

Dateline: May, 1998 (it may have been 1999. I'm not quite sure.)

It was a beautiful spring afternoon in Logan, Utah. I think it was a Sunday, because I remember thinking that not much was going on the rest of the day/evening - but I know for sure that the next day was a weekday.

We were just recovering from the long, snowy Cache Valley winter, and I was itching to get into the mountains a bit. I called up my on-again/off-again girlfriend (the very same woman to whom I am currently married) and asked her to join me on a nice drive up Logan Canyon to visit Old Ephraim's Grave (Old Ephraim was the last grizzly bear killed in Utah, prior to the Grizzly becoming extinct here). The snow was about all melted, and trees were beginning to blossom.

We headed out on our little excursion with no particular reason to bring anything other that the clothes we were wearing. After all, this was to be the classic 'Three-Hour Tour' kind of a drive. A jaunt up Logan Canyon, then turn down a jeep road and 4-Wheel-Drive almost all the way to the monument. We started out in the late afternoon and drove for a couple of hours. Logan Canyon was beautiful, and the further we drove, the better the views got. We were near the tops of the mountains, where the vistas were stunning and the snow melt was very recent. As we drove, the road was getting more and more wet, and I was growing concerned about the conditions. Eventually, we rounded a corner and decided it would be unwise to go any further down the road. The road was soaked, spotted with puddles of water between 12 and 18 inches deep.

I put my truck in reverse and started to back up, looking for a place to turn around. The road we were on was cut into the side of the mountain, with a not-too-steep, grassy hill dropping off our right-hand side. As I backed up, my truck veered slightly over to the right-hand side of the road, near the edge. I put on the brakes, but it was too late - the saturated mud upon which we sat just sloughed away, and began running downhill like a muddy avalanche, carrying my truck with it.

We slid about 50 feet downhill, eventually stopping in a puddle of mud and water about 2 feet deep. I tried driving both forward and backward, but it was no use... we weren't going anywhere. It was about 7pm, and we still had about 1.5 hours of daylight left. I spent most all of this time wading about in the watery mess trying anything in my power to free my truck. I pushed while Emily drove. I tried rocking the truck back and forth. I gathered branches, rocks, and anything else I could find and jammed it under my truck tires. Nothing I did was getting me out of here - it was perhaps even making it worse. The front of my truck was embedded in the mud, while one of the back tires was completely off the ground. It really was quite the sight, and a horrible predicament to be in.

All my efforts to free us only really accomplished one thing: It got me really, REALLY wet. Remember, I was wading about in a puddle of water, and I pushed and pushed until I fell in the water multiple times. My clothes were drenched in muddy muck - and it was starting to get pretty cold.

It was now nearly dark, and I informed Emily that we were not going to be driving home. No other human being had come by in the hours we had been there, and I certainly didn't expect to see anyone come by at night. I recommended to Emily that we begin walking back to the main road - which was approximately 7.5 miles away.

"What in the world do you plan to do when we get back to the road?", Emily asked me. "Hitchhike back to Logan", I replied, "We should get back to the road about 2am. We can hitchhike home, and come back in the morning to get my truck." Well, there was no way I was convincing her to accompany me to some nighttime hitchhiking. She thought that was a terrible idea. She also wasn't fond of my second alternative, which was to allow ME to hitchhike alone, while she waited. So, that left us with one alternative: Spend the night and deal with this in the morning.

My truck at this time was a 1992 Toyota Regular Cab Pickup, like this one:

(Mine didn't have the skid plate, but my oversized tires were way cooler. Awww, I miss that little guy)

This was not exactly the most comfortable place for 2 people to sleep, especially considering the forward-leaning angle at which the truck sat. Comfortable or not, it was dry and it was all we had. I did have a plastic blue tarp that I kept behind the seat - but that was about it as far as shelter. We still had over 1/2 tank of gas and a working heater.

I was freezing. The temperature had dropped drastically, and as I said before, I was drenched from head to toe. I knew I had to get out of these wet clothes soon. I stripped down to nothing but my underwear and threw the wet clothes in the bed of the pickup.

It was pitch black now, and I was barely clothed, sharing a tarp with my girlfriend, trying to get warm. So, it wasn't ALL bad, I guess.

Well, the heater did work - however, my tailpipe was only a few inches from the top of the water and Emily could swear that all the exhaust was coming right into the cab of the truck, so she was very reluctant to let me run it. A few times throughout the night, we couldn't bear the cold anymore, so we would run the truck for a little while and allow ourselves to heat up some. But for the most part, it was a long, miserable night. Temperatures were well below freezing the entire time.

Around 5 am, the the morning finally arrived. It was no longer total darkness. Although there was no direct sunlight yet, blackness had given way to shades of blue and grey that told us the warm sun was on its way. Now came the REALLY tough part. Somewhat reluctantly, we got out of the truck to begin the trek out. Naturally, I went for my clothes first thing. Remember the great idea I had to strip them off and discard them in the bed of the truck? Horrible idea. My shirt, undershirt, pants and socks were frozen together in a giant clothescicle. I couldn't even break them apart.

Nevertheless, I still had to get out of there. Clothes or no clothes, we had to walk out. I got the last of the warmth that I could in my truck then Emily and I headed back down the road we drove in on. Both of us shivering, we started briskly walking back to Logan Canyon. Did I mention that I was wearing tennis shoes without socks and a pair of underwear (garment bottoms) - AND NOTHING ELSE??? I was really hoping Emily wasn't looking too closely. Obviously, my attire was very revealing - and I was freezing cold (if you know what I mean).

Moving helped keep us warm, but I was still shivering like Michael J. Fox operating a jackhammer (tasteless joke, I know). As we proceeded down the trail, we kept watching a line of sunshine inch its way down the mountain. It seemed to take an eternity before it finally was able to peer far enough down the canyon and hit our freezing bodies. Eventually, it did hit us, and even warmed us enough that I was able to wear my shirt (but still not my pants).

I think it was about 8:30 or 8:45 am when we got really close to the main road. I was still essentially naked from the waist-down, my pants had done very little thawing, and the shirt I was now wearing was caked in mud. I couldn't imagine this being a very appealing wardrobe to a passing motorist. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately), the Logan river runs very near the road, and I saw this as an opportunity to get dressed and a little cleaner. I waded into the water, carrying the frozen wad of clothes and soaked them until they were pliable enough to put on my body. I removed my shirt, and doused it a few times in the river as well, so that it was as clean as possible. Once dressed, we made a B-line for the road, desperate to flag down the next car that passed.

It didn't take too long (maybe about 5 minutes) for a car to come by. It was an officer from Utah State Parks and Recreation, who was on his way to an interview in Logan. We sat in his car for awhile, and he took down all of our information and was a great help (come to find out, he knew my Uncle Larry pretty well. hmmm... small world). I felt so lucky that we found him, because he had a CB and was talking to a dispatch officer who was offering to call our roommates to come help us. They also called both of our employers and explained why we would be late to work. To this day, I still don't understand why he just didn't give us a lift down the canyon (perhaps because I was dripping wet), but he left us there and drove off. Help, he assured us, was on the way.

About AN HOUR later, I saw my roommate, Scott, driving his truck toward us. He looked like he was on a Frankenstein-hunting mission, because there was an army of people in the back of his truck with shovels, pitchforks, torches, etc. (OK, maybe they didn't have pitchforks and torches - but they did have a bunch of tools, some of which seemed to provide little value to the situation).

And they also had a tow-rope. Scott drove up to the spot where we spent the night and in about 5 minutes my truck was freed. As his 6-cylinder Toyota helped extract my 4-cylinder Toyota, I recall him yelling out "V-6 POWER!!!". Despite the humiliation of getting stuck, the physical exhaustion from the lack of sleep, and the worry I had for missing most of the workday, my overwhelming emotion at that moment was envy. I had secretly always been envious of his larger engine. Grrrrr. But, there was also relief. We had been stuck for about 14 hours, and we were finally free, warm, and among friends. The rescue party consisted of both of our roommates, and some random people Emily's ward. Upon receiving the call from dispatch, Emily's roommates had called her bishop, and he had been able to gather a number of people to assist. To be honest, I really just wanted someone to hurry up and get us off home - I don't know why the army of garden-tool-bearing students needed to be assembled. I felt like time was an issue here - have these people never head of hypothermia? (that reminds me of this one OTHER time...) Oh well, I really was grateful they came.

Free at last: I drove home, dropped Emily off, and we both got ready for work. We were very tired, but I was just grateful to be able to have a hot shower and to know we were safe. I remember my truck was so muddy both inside and out that I took it to a car wash and actually used the power-spray on the INSIDE of the cab.

Thinking about it now, I don't believe that I've been back to Old Ephraim's grave since. I think its high time I pay that place a visit.

Things Which Are Not Safe

2011-05-31T14:55:00.000-07:00

Allowing your 18-month-old to play by himself on playground equipment.

Peering over any edge, when you've been walking less than one year.

Attempting to slide while blinded by a bad hairdo.

Somehow, finding this hair an improvement.

Thinking Abbey will protect you from falling.

Using delivery-room-inspired playground equipment.

The daily fall.

Whatever this is.

Hoping your dad will catch you (he won't).

Brushing your teeth at a sporting event. This may not be unsafe, but it is (at a minimum): unsanitary, uncouth, unnecessary, unusual, unwelcome, and unwise.

This just looks like a potential for disaster.

Running with your shoelaces untied.

Trying to stop Mylie from scoring. Don't even try it.

Ho- Ho- Ho!... Merry Memorial Day!

2011-05-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

(I seriously have a friend whose mom refers to this holiday as "McMorial Day". That cracks me up every year.)

Yeah, this is what we woke up to this morning: About an inch of snow.

I must admit that I had some mixed emotions about it. I had planned on shingling the house today, but Mother Nature saved me from that. Instead, I'm blogging.

This snowman was made from 100% Memorial Day snow.

I've read a few comments how we never post pictures of our kids. Well, here you go. This particular day, they hung out in their pajamas until noon - when this picture was taken. I can't blame them, there is really nothing to get dressed for.

Hawaii Wrap-Up

2011-05-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

I know. You are sick of me posting about my vacation. Well, to be fair, the requests to see pictures of Hawaii were the inspiration for my renewed interest in blogging. Besides, it was awesome. Alas, this will be the last post about our trip.

Wailua Falls

Does Emily look a beach-goer, or a farmer?

These are our good friends Dave and Sarah, in whose condo we stayed (thanks again). Major thanks to them for convincing us to take this trip. I always felt like Hawaii was something 'other people' did. I never envisioned myself taking the trip until they came to our house one night and talked us into it. It was WELL worth it.

Check out the backdrop we had while swimming.

Lighthouse

This dude had the biggest nipples I've ever seen. They were like soda cans.

Tour of a restored Hawaiian Village

Looking out over Honalei Valley's taro farms from Princeville

Shipwreck Beach. It may look pleasant, but the surf really beat us up.

Waimea Canyon. Here is the gang again. It was so fun to vacation with friends (not to mention NO KIDS!!!)

Beautiful scenery. HORRIBLE picture of both of us.

This was taken at the end of the day, and seconds after I crawled out of the ocean.

Twilight on the beach.

This was the last picture we took in Hawaii. I'm getting emotional just typing that.

Vacation Life Hacking

2011-05-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

Inspired by this website, I ~~proudly~~ present to you:

Step-by-Step Instructions for Weaseling Your Way Out Of Rental Car Damage:

The trick here is all in what you tell the agent when you rent the car. Do your work early, and this whole experience can work in your favor.

Step #1. Decline any and all insurance at the time of rental. However, tell the agent that you are interested, and will probably return to buy the insurance when your friend gets in town. After all, you need to come back to add him as a designated driver, anyway.

Step #2. Inflict some damage to the car, as shown below.
.

Step #3. Panic. Yes, you read that correctly. Freak out, my friend. Realize that this could cost you a pretty penny. Desperation will actually be your ally in this situation.

Step #4. Use said desperation to somehow pound a dent out of a bumper with your bare hands.

Step #5. Continue about your vacation as normal, except for the crippling fear that will linger in the back of your mind anytime you think about the damaged vehicle.

Step #6. Return to the rental agency on the final day of your vacation to add the friend as an authorized driver. The key here is to arrive at twilight, when the lighting in the parking lot is very poor.

Step #7. Put on the performance of your life when talking to the agent. When adding the new driver, pretend that he is simply more comfortable buying a single day's worth of insurance. Then, pretend to let him talk you into buying full coverage protection.

Step #8. When the agent tells you she needs to do a visual inspection of the vehicle, resist the urge to wet yourself, scream like a little girl, and/or run out of the building. Instead, calmly make a joke about wrecking the vehicle (as if that could happen!!!) - this will really add to your story.

8(a). Completely expect to be nominated for an Academy Award at some future point for your performance.
8(b). Eventually recognize that said performance had little to do with acting skill. It is amazing what a cheapskate will do to save a buck. It is more a reflection of a personality flaw than a talent.

Step #9. When agent isn't looking, wipe sweat from brow, and begin whatever form of prayer you practice.

Step #10. Assuming your vehicle passes the inspection in the poor lighting, fill out a few forms, and pay the small fee for a single day of insurance.

Step #11. Later on, drop off the vehicle as quickly as possible, and board your plane home. Did that really just happen? Minus the one day's worth of insurance, you are off scot-free. Net savings: approximately 97%.

Step #12. Use the 6-hour plane ride to ponder what part of your soul has been hiding that kind of fiendish behavior all these years. Eventually, shrug it off and consider yourself extremely lucky.

Nā Pali Coast

2011-05-28T22:16:00.000-07:00

Bear (or is it Bare, I seriously don't know) with me - this Hawaii thing is almost over. Soon, I can move on to writing the blog I really want to write: The one where I mock my brother-in-law, Andy, publicly about his baldness and his inability to recognize literary masterpieces when he sees them. In the mean time...

Behind us is the Nā Pali Coast. It is one entire side of Kauai that is inaccessible to motor vehicles and remains completely undeveloped. You can't drive there, but there is a great trail that runs along it. 11 miles, with beaches, waterfalls, etc. along the way.

This is view of the coast is from Ke'e Beach. The snorkeling is fantastic here, as the beach is surrounded by a cool reef. There were 4 sea turtles always swimming just off shore. Besides the turtles, I loved seeing the parot fish, eels, and humuhumunukunukuapua'a. (alright, I admit. That last sentence was just an excuse for me to use the word humuhumunukunukuapua'a).

Looking down from the trail onto Ke'e Beach. Note the reef I mentioned above.

I felt way better about myself when hiking without a guide.

This was our destination. Kalalau Beach.

Hippies have made these dumb rock shrines in various places around the island. Note the freak doing yoga at the top. I bet he hasn't showered in months.

Dave and I found a small cave.

We intended to swim here, but the surf was treacherous.

Emily and Sarah on the beach. They will use this photo for their Book Club show-and-tell.

Cooling off in the river, prior to making the return trip.

Science Experiment

2011-05-27T21:58:00.000-07:00

I'm still experimenting with this blog. Anyone like the new layout? But, speaking of experiment, here is one I conducted in Kauai:

Hypothesis: I believe If I go fast enough, I can run/walk on water.

Finding: I'm not fast, and fat guys float. Body fat = buoyancy.

This place is called Queen's Bath. It is a little cove that is protected by some lava rock. Occasionally, the waves splash over the top, but for the most part, it is a nice, protected place to swim.

It is nice, unless some SERIOUS nerds stop by. We had the place to ourselves, until this lady below showed up.

I knew I'd better get out of there, or I wouldn't be able to resist laughing uncontrollably at the sight.

She waddled on in with a too-tight bathing suit, flippers, pink snorkel and personal floatation device (also apparently unaware of the above buoyancy principle). I guess her idea of snorkeling consists of a small, isolated pool of water with limited aquatic life. I still wonder why she would need flippers in 300 square feet of water with no noticeable current. She hovered motionless around the bath, seriously moving so little that we wondered if she was still alive. For all we know, she could still be there...

So, I'm a blogger now

2011-05-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

OK, 3 posts in 3 days. I'm on a serious roll. Thanks to my sister-in-law and fellow blog-enthusiast, Mary, I learned there is a new interface for creating these blogs. I was on some old version, basically rubbing 2 sticks together to make fire, when all you other bloggers out there were using a blowtorch.

This post is nothing more than a trial for me to try some new tricks. I guess while I'm at it, I will bore you some more with posts about Hawaii. Below are 2 of my favorite things about visiting the islands:

It is REALLY easy to wake up early and get going. Because of the time change, your body makes you wake up very early. This particular morning, Emily and I woke up at 4:30am and went out to watch the sun rise. We relaxed in this hammock, and watched a ton of dolphins and a few whales out in the ocean.

Speaking of animals, we saw so many sea turtles. They were all around us while we were snorkeling. Here is a great photo of a turtle bum.

Also, I loved the Hawaiian Shave Ice. This little shack had great stuff. Like the rest of the island, there were wild chickens and roosters all around you.

This post was ridiculously dumb. Forgive me.

Jungle Trek

2011-05-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

One of our favorite activities on Kauai was a 5-hour kayak/hike adventure we took to 'Secret Falls'. We, along with about 9 other people, were led from the coast inland toward our destination. It was a guided tour, which was OK. For some reason, however, I couldn't handle the fact that this guide was trying to actually 'guide' us. I REALLY wanted him to know that I was a kayak owner, and that I am also an avid hiker. Emily told me I sounded like a 6-year-old know-it all for most of the day. In retrospect, she was right.

Setting off on the Wailua River. The guide had the audacity to try to tell me how to paddle.

Eventually, we headed down a more narrow fork of the river.

Then, we began trekking through the jungle (I totally could have done this without being guided).

The trail crossed the river in a few places. (I totally didn't need the rope. The guide and I got into a little argument when I tried veering off the trail here.)

Anyone ever heard of a walking tree? When our guide was telling us about them, I actually listened to him.

Trudging on through the jungle. This was soooo easy for me.

When we got to the falls, Emily needed to pee REALLY bad. I captured the moment.

This may look like us posing in front of the falls, but it is really an excuse for Emily to relieve herself. I joined her to save face.

Then, I stayed for a swim.

Sensing that I was an experienced outdoorsman, Dave and Sarah joined me behind the falls (note that Dave was experiencing severe nipple irritation). Wild horses couldn't drag Emily any further into the water than that. Her reluctance to re-enter the pool made me seriously question whether she had merely peed out there - or done something more sinister.

*Note from Emily: Eventually, I joined the party and had fun swimming under the falls.

**Note from Brandon: Even though I stood under 120 feet of falling water, I still felt the need to shower when I got home.

Hawaii

2011-05-25T22:08:00.000-07:00

Let me be honest with you: I hate blogging. It is tedious, and I would like to think that I have better things to do (which I don't). I do, however, like the idea of having a journal to keep memories, and the ability to share some cool things with friends/family far away. Those of you who still read this blog obviously have NOTHING better in life to do, as you are diligently checking in to read the same post over and over again. You should have abandoned this blog long ago. I imagine you out there, holding on to your 'Masonology' bookmark, like I am hanging on to all my cassette and VHS tapes. You know you'll never again receive entertainment from them, but you just can't bear to get rid of them altogether.

Well, today is different, my friends. I'm blogging. We went to Hawaii and had such a great time I wanted to document it here. Without further ado, I present to you:

OK, there will be some 'ado'. I have decided that rather than battle this awful blogging software, I will just post a series of smaller blogs. Maybe 4-5 pictures in each run. Let's get rolling...

This is Hanalei Bay, on the North Shore of Kauai. We stayed in a condo not far from here. If this looks familiar to you, perhaps that is because it is where they filmed 'South Pacific' and a few other movies. Or, maybe it looks familiar to you because you've been there, or I've already bored you with these pictures.

One of the first things I did in Hawaii was buy this boogie board. I loved that I was suddenly a guy who owned a boogie board. It kind of changed my life for a few days. Not that I rode it much at all, but just owning a boogie board made me feel really hip. When in its presence, I wanted to use words like 'bro', 'rad', 'tubular', etc. I resisted this urge, primarily because I didn't want to sound like a washed-up 80's celebrity (yes, I'm talking specifically about Charlie Sheen). I spent my last few hours in Hawaii desperately running around a Wal~Mart, trying to sell a gently used boogie board which was too big to fit in my carry-on luggage. I still miss it...

In addition to the boogie board, I also feel like I left a part of my soul in Hawaii. I miss it already. We really did have a great time.

Nine months in pictures

2010-11-07T21:33:00.000-08:00

Ice Skating at the ice sheet. Notice the curling targets, this is where the olympic curling took place. They give curling lessons and have leagues, I may be interested.

Grandpa Sorensen's Funeral. These are my dad's brother and sisters (minus Randy who was sick in the hospital. Now passed on with my grandma and grandpa)

Some of the cousins and sister (no, Jamie is not nursing)

Baby cousins: Sammy, Garrett, Ginger, Dallin.

Hiking with Dad

Ogden Valley and Pineview Resevoir

Back to Fallon
Weinie roast at the flats (I don't remember it being such a dirty place as a kid) Ashley and Abbey

The two boys: Dallin and Garrett

Day trip to Donner memorial: On the way back to Reno I was so hungry the thought of eating my family didn't seem like such a bad idea.

Donner Lake

I couldn't keep Garrett out of the water so I finally just took off his clothes.

Back to Ogden
We took the gondola up to the top of snow basin and did the short hike to the top of the peak with the Prisbreys

Family reunion in Heber City
Theater room/girl headquarters

minute to win it games

hot tub

Wish I would have taken more pictures of the reunion, I did a horrible job in that department.

School starts

Abbey's walk to her first day of first grade

Mylie's in pre-school

I ran the Top of Utah half Marathon 2hrs 12 min. (I wish I could say those were nursing boobs, but I was done months before the race.)

Fall Soccor. Mylie #4

I don't know where the camera was for Abbey's game so heres the best pic of her in her uni.

Hogle Zoo

Can you spy the Gorilla?

Mylie wanted to learn to ride a bike without training wheels (her idea)...

...5 minutes later

Garrett doing what he does best.
In the heat vent

Obviously that child lock doesn't work

Practicing for his career as a contortionist. Hoping to work as a street performer in Vegas one day.

Sweet

Happy Birthday Garrett!
Balls out Party

Halloween

Yoda, Dorthy and a Fairy

Yoda wouldn't keep his hat on so for pictures we had to hold his arms down.

Trick-or-Treat

Jazz Game

Abbey got a hug from big T Baily

She was also afraid of heights. (both terrible pictures, I know, but you get the idea.)

See ya in 6 months

Happy Birthday, Mylie

2010-03-13T20:43:00.000-08:00

Blowing out the candles on her lady bug cake.

Did you know that four year olds don't wear pull-ups to bed anymore, and four year olds don't bite their baby brother's cheeks anymore, four year olds also brush their own teeth, and four year olds can pick up their baby brother and walk around with him?

Mylie...

Gives the best hugs

Strong willed

Loves dresses

Compassionate

Scared

Dainty

Crazies

2010-03-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Do you ever think your kids do silly things? Here are just a few those moments in our family.

This is what is called "going through the tunnell".

Thisis what's called "putting your foot in your mouth".

This is what's called "going on a pic-nic"...

...apparently they only brought food for the ants.

This is what is called "emptying the dishwasher" (when the girls empty the dishwasher, I have them stack the dishes that belong in the above cupboards on the counter, they think its funny to make towers out of them.)

This is what is called "sleeping".

Sometimes on weekends we let Abbey and Mylie have a sleepover downstairs. They watch a movie and sleep in their sleeping bags. This is where they chose to sleep last weekend. I'm pretty sure there wasn't much sleeping going on.

Garrett was a little jealous of their sleepover so he had one of his own.

He's a Fan

2010-01-15T08:50:00.000-08:00

As a result of last nights buzzer-beater against the Cav's...

The Jazz picked up a new fan.

He will be cheering them on at his first game in the Energy Solutions Arena tomorrow night. Go Jazz!

Quote from Brandon a week ago "Have you ever hated your favorite team?"

Quote from Brandon last night "When you're doing what is right on and off the court the Lord steps in and majic happens" (some of you may recognize this quote, any BYU fans want to guess who Brandon stole that one from?)

Those two quotes pretty much sums up this Jazz season.

Other cute photos of the little fan.

Christmas Shenanigans

2010-01-07T20:46:00.000-08:00

We spent Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa Mason's. We look like a family of elves in this picture.

The whole gang of elves. (minus grandma and grandpa)

This Christmas Santa brought some very special visitors...

Could it really be...

Hannah Montana

Cinderella with her special scarf

and there's Belle and The Beast

Prince Charming came for Cinderella.

Every time I asked Abbey what she wanted for Christmas this year, her answer every time was a wig. I kind of tried to talk her out of it by suggesting other "fun" toys, but she was set on a wig. We had a little problem Christmas morning when Mylie thought the Cinderella wig was hers. She got Cinderella dress up last March for her birthday so, of course the Cinderella wig went with her dress up. Mylie did get what she asked for which was a Dora doll that dances.

Blessed

2009-12-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

See, Garrett really is a normal looking baby! After seeing that goofy looking picture of Garrett every time I went to our blog I decided it was time for a new post.

Garrett was blessed on November 22. My parents came Saturday and left Sunday (I wish I would have gotten some pictures with them). It was fun having them for the short time they were here.

We are all blessed to have Garrett in our family.

The Kid

2009-11-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

I think he's pooping. (Let's just hope so, at least)

Mylie exercising self-control by not smothering Garrett with Love.

Abbey doing her best Jack-o-Lantern impression

Garrett cuddling with Bambi (this was staged by the girls).

Cool Sideburns. OK, the kid isn't bad, either.

Garrett the Kid and his posse.

All tuckered out.

Garrett Davis Mason

2009-10-11T13:24:00.001-07:00

Ok, the last time I posted about a new addition to our family, things didn't work out so well. Unlike the new dog last year, I'm pretty sure we'll keep this guy for awhile.
Behold, I present to you, my son:

Before

After

Further Proof My Brother Is Insane

2009-04-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

Disneyland

2009-04-12T14:57:00.000-07:00

In February, we went with some good friends (Dave and Sarah Prisbrey) to Southern California. We had a great trip, and even visited some family along the way (thanks to Jamie for hosting us in Vegas for 3 nights). Because I'm sick of looking at my last post, here are some photos:

Not many crowds. It was great.

Mylie and Abbey in Minnie's bed.

Lunch with the princesses.

My lunch. Mmmmmmm...

Traditional Souvenir hats.

Mylie was scared of most of the rides. Often, while waiting in line, her whole body would quiver in fear (no exaggeration).

We hit the beach. Abbey loved the water. As the waves rolled across her feet, she wondered if she was moving or the water. It was hilarious. I left my sun glasses sitting on a rock right around here. If any readers visit Oceanside, California, please look for them for me.

Within seconds of setting foot near the ocean, both girls were wiped out by waves. Emotionally, Mylie still hasn't fully recovered.

We also visited Hoover Dam. There were plenty of dam jokes. I hear so much about how much Mylie looks like her mom - I like this photo, because it details that indeed she has some of her dad's genes (look at the belly).

One of Life's Hard Lessons...

2009-02-22T09:00:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I like to be the class clown. I've long considered my role in life was to draw attention to myself and try to amuse groups of people at the same time. In elementary school, I had one move in particular which was sure to get laughs 100 percent of the time: farting. The great thing about elementary school was that you could really amplify the sound of your flatuations off the hard plastic chairs. About once per week, I would sense a quite moment and let one rip. This was ALWAYS followed by roars of laughter in the classroom. I was a living legend at Bates Elementary primarily for this one action alone, and I loved it each and every time.

I remember the day my world came crashing down around me. It was a few weeks into 7th Grade, and I was now a big Junior High student. My Pre-Algebra class was full of new faces and I needed them to know how cool I was. I especially wanted to impress this girl named Holly who sat near me. My moment had finally arived. It was quiet, and I was ready to lay the comedy down. Big time. As I'd done countless times in Elementary school, I positioned my body just right for maximum flatuental resonance. The room stayed silent, until 'Boom'! In my mind, it was flawless - exactly what I was looking for.

Beaming with pride, I gazed around the room expecting to see throngs of laughing kids in awe of my prowress. "Boys and Girls, behold your King", I thought to myself. What I got was the complete opposite - utter silence, mingled with some disgusted looks. I don't think Holly even looked up at all.

Huh? Seriously? Didn't they hear...??? Hmmm, there must have been some other variable here that I didn't realize. Surely things didn't change THAT much between elementary and junior high, right?

A few weeks later I tried again. It was an almost identical situation, which (sadly) produced an identical reponse from my audience. My heart was racing, and something new was happening to me. My face was getting warmer and my ears felt like a radiator, swelling with hot magma. I wanted to ooze my way out of my desk and run down the hall. I actually felt SHAME and REGRET for the very action that had made me a legend in Grades 1-6. Was this what it meant to be embarrased?

It was October, 1987. The day farting stopped being funny.

Small world or Large Guy?

2009-02-21T08:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this happens to everybody or not, but I am constantly running into people I know. This is to be expected, I guess, when you live 5 blocks from where you grew up - HOWEVER, this also happens to me in the craziest places. Have you ever heard the story where I met the girls from North Ogden while I was in Paris? Or the time I got on a flight to Atlanta and found out the pilot was one of my best friends? I've decided that either this really is a small world, or maybe it is just super easy to pick me out of a crowd because of my enormous size.

Case in point:

We recently returned from a trip to Southern California (more on that in a future blog, I'm sure) where we stayed in a friend's timeshare in Oceanside. One day, we decided to go down to the beach to let the kids play. On the short walk down to the water, a minivan pulled up to us and someone inside was yelling my name. I turned around and saw a familiar face from high school. It was Alison Smith, who married my buddy Boomer. Come to find out, they lived directly across the street from where we were staying. They lived so close to where we were staying that I could pick up their wireless Internet from our room (his network is called 'BoomDog', by the way). I was doubly excited to see a familiar face, because I figured I would be able to watch the Jazz/Lakers game from their house. Sadly, that didn't happen, as the game wasn't televised for them. But it sure was nice to see them...

Grrrr....

2009-02-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

So, I had the most sickening sight as I pulled up to work this morning. The parking lot was essentially empty and the building looked dead. Somehow, I had forgotten that today was a holiday - and I showed up to work anyway. Because I was gone all last week, I feel obligated to sit here for a bit and catch-up on my work (amidst blogging). Grrr...

This reminds me of the time that I somehow didn't get the memo about Daylight Savings Time and showed up to church an hour early. I was angry for weeks afterward.

The Weirdos Out There

2009-02-06T23:08:00.000-08:00

According to my hit-counter, our blog has been 'Googled' a number of times. The last searches that led weirdos to our blog were:

Nettie Sorensen (Google)
masonology (Google)
flaming gorge kayak camping (Google)
masonology (Google)
masonology (Google)
"change her own diapers" (Google)

Strange. This has led to some discussion about going private. We're not sure if we'll do it or not, but it might happen. If you want to make sure we add you to the list, post your email address here or send me an email: bmason@212resources.com

Worst...Golf Course...Ever...

2009-02-06T19:03:00.000-08:00

Well, since my whale didn't spark any interest (you know, it really hurts my feelings when I don't get any comments on this stupid blog), I have decided to showcase my parents' adventures in retirement. They are currently living the dream as Sunbirds in Quartzite, AZ.

Ahhhh... the joys of RV Livin': The open road. Porta-potties. Swap-Meets. Cramming all of life's essentials into a rolling palace on wheels so you can park inches away from other people who share your same ambitions. This is what its all about, I guess.

The metropolis of Quartize, Arizona is a retirement haven (so I'm told). As proof to this, I offer exhibits A, B, and C. Eat your heart out, Pebble Beach...

Exhibit A. The high life.

Exhibit B. I'm thinking that the government must have tested some nukes here. If they didn't they should have.

Exhibit C. I think the bleachers are the remains of a planewreck.

Humpback

2009-02-06T09:38:00.000-08:00

Did I ever share this picture I took when I was in Alaska?

(OK, I didn't take this picture, but I wished I did. I did witness this kind of stuff, however).

I know this post is dumb, I was just sick of looking at the Inauguration.

In-Awe-Guration

2009-01-24T10:40:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I attended President Obama's Inauguration. My friend and Neighbor, Cody Watson, got the tickets by emailing Senator Bennett shortly after the election. When his wife didn't want to go, I jumped in. Fortunately, I have a buddy who lives in DC who offered to let us stay with him. So, I used some of my hard-earned frequent flier miles and set off for quite the adventure. In an attempt to keep myself eligible for the family inheritance, I tried for as long as possible to keep this little trip secret from my mother-in-law, but she found out shortly before I left. Pictures below:

This is me with my ticket. I waited in this mob for about 3 hours just to get to the security checkpoint. There were no toilets at this part, and it was the single most people I've ever seen in my life. I was quite the hero to these people, because I was tall enough to look over the crowd and report to the masses what was going on. They called me 'Tall Man'. I was also loaded with a bunch of granola bars, which I gave to some weary people. I kept telling them how I was a boy scout. Little did they know how prepared I really was. I had an orange juice bottle in my pocket that I was going to pee in, if I didn't get to a restroom soon. Fortunately, I never had to use it.

Here is a shot I got of the Obamas.*

A few things became clear to me while attending this event. First of all, the Democratic Party is odd. The place was packed with a bunch of Hippies (you know, the kind of people who throw paint on you if you wear fur), as well as fur-wearing people who seemed to believe they were at a Baptist revival. They were swaying back-and-forth and shouting 'Amen' periodically. They tended to repeat the last 3 words of each stanza form Obama's speech. I can still hear it now, "Unclench Your Fists", etc, etc.

These guys were on top of most buildings. I felt very safe with them there.

The highlight of my trip was when Pres. Bush boarded Marine 1 and flew directly over my head. For some reason, this really touched me. I felt bad that there were people mocking him. Every time they would show him on the TV screen, they would start singing, "Sha-na-na-na. Hey-hey-hey. Goooooodbye." I haven't been entirely pleased with G.W. Bush the past 4 years either, but I hated to see disrespect for the president.

Did I mention that people were everywhere?

This was my view of the event. In a strange way, I felt like I was at Woodstock. It was a total 'Kum-bay-ya' moment. People were crying, kissing, and hugging. After Obama's speech, I saw this chubby Black lady next to me with tears rolling down her cheeks. She just really looked like she needed a hug, so I gave her one.

Emily pointed out to me that I had a bunch of photos of the same thing, so I changed this one. This is my brother and I at the Lincoln Memorial at night. At this point, I was exausted. I began standing at 5:30 in the morning on the subway, and the first time I got to sit down was around 3:30 pm in Senator Bennett's office.

This was my first view. When I first got on the Mall, I headed to the back, to have a little elbow room. Eventually, I realized I couldn't see very well, and there was something (like a stand for TV Cameras) blocking my view of the action - so I moved around a bit and got much closer.

At night, they lit up the skies with these lights. It was obvious that they were Masonic symbols.

The White House. Notice the guards on top.

The place was a disaster. There were no garbage cans anywhere. Trash was piled ankle-high. Miraculously, I went back the next day and it was mostly cleaned up.

I took this picture for my buddy Tom Ferguson who seems to have a fixation on local TV reporters. I pushed Senator Chaffetz out of the way so I could meet this guy. I lied and told him I was a big fan. But I'm pretty sure he knew I was lying when I called him 'John Hollenhorst'. He corrected me and told me his name was 'Richard Piatt'. Meh.

Speaking of second-rate celebrities, here is Don King. It was SUCH an honor. I think he thinks he is a civil rights hero. He is really just an idiot.

Most of you know that if there is anything I love, it is mass-hysteria. I need little motivation to join in on any given craze. So, I had to jump in and buy some buttons. Believe it or not, I even paid full price for them. These kinds of guys were ALL OVER THE PLACE selling anything Obama-ish. I saw Obama shoes, Obama hot sauce, Obama incense and depictions of Obama hugging Martin Luther King, Jr. The craziest of the T-Shirts had Obama in a white robe singing Gospel, and depicted him as some kind of singing Messiah.

While there, we also visited 2 Smithsonian Museums and Manassas (aka Bull Run, the battlefield where the Civil War began). However, Emily dislikes my long posts, so I'll have to skip the pictures. i will leave with one more, as it shows the 4 of us who endured the Inaugural craziness.

Clockwise from left is me, Dan Webber (mission companion and DC resident), Cody Watson (neighbor with the tix and speed-walker extraordinaire) and my brother Trent. Trent drove down from Pittsburgh when he heard I was in town. For some reason, he wore camouflage pants and a hooded sweatshirt, and looked very much like either a uni bomber-type figure or someone looking to distribute religious material.

* OK, as you may have guessed, these guys were Barack and Michelle look-alikes.

Breakfast in the buff

2009-01-23T14:49:00.000-08:00

This morning Mylie ate her breakfast nude. I was on the other side of the bar so I didn't realize she was completely naked until she was almost finished. She was supposed to put on a pull-up on (you know, since she changes he own diapers now) and get dressed. When I saw her sitting there without a shirt on I thought to myself, at least her shirt will stay clean.

Still Alive

2009-01-21T18:02:00.000-08:00

Here is a little picture summary of what's been going on in our lives for the past 2-3 months

Thanksgiving in Fallon with all the cousins except Morgan, Calvin, Piper and Oakley (not pictured, but enjoyed his first trip on the farm: Oskar).

Christmas

This is Mylie on Christmas morning with a reindeer milk mustache. Reindeer milk tastes a lot like egg nog only its red. The girls left a note for Santa asking for some reindeer milk preferably from Rudolf (because it's red). Some of the other reindeer give green or maybe yellow milk. But all reindeer milk leaves great milk mustaches that last all morning.

Stockings!

Playing in the snow with James and Aunt Ashley

Abbey lost her first 2 teeth. She was really excited after losing her first tooth for about a half hour. Then she got really sad, I found her hiding in her room crying because she missed her tooth.

Cuddling with Oskar.

Painting nails.

New Post

2009-01-06T14:35:00.001-08:00

There you go. Are you all happy now?

Saturday Night's All Right For...

2008-12-10T10:02:00.000-08:00

By the way, we called 911 3 times on Saturday. I think this has to be some kind of record. Along with my 3 calls to 911, I filled out 2 police reports.

Happy Birthday to Abbey

2008-11-25T09:57:00.003-08:00

Yesterday was Abbey's Birthday. I told her I would make what ever she wanted for dinner or we could go out to eat anywhere she wanted. I figured we would be going to McDonalds, but she chose to go to Rumbi. We've only been there a couple time and I don't think she really cares too much for the food, but every time we go she likes to call it Ru Ru Rumbi and she repeats it over and over and over. So when asked what she wanted to do for her birthday dinner she said Ru Ru Rumbi.

On Saturday we had a birthday party for her. This was her first "friends" birthday party. The theme was a pretend sleep-over (thanks to Kim for the great idea) the girls wore their pajamas and brought their sleeping bags. Itwas so much fun!

When everyone got there we watched a movie and ate popcorn.

They played musical sleeping bags. This game was a hit. Mylie was the very first person out, which didn't go over too well.

Music stopped, everyone in a sleeping bag.

This was supposed to be a balloon relay where you have two teams and you run to the other end of the room and sit on the balloon to pop it, run back tag the next person on your team. Repeat. So on and so forth. Balloons these days are a lot stronger than they used to be so we ended up having everyone bounce on their balloon and the first to pop wins. It went on for nearly five minutes. It was funny to watch. Notice some girls are plugging their ears.

Balloon pop video

I made journals and the girls decorated them with foam stickers and jewels.

This is the little kid table.

Opening of the presents. Can they get any closer?

Singing Happy Birthday. Abbey was funny to watch while we sang, I could tell she was embarrassed. (you can kinda tell in this picture)

Happy Birthday Abbey!

Early and Late

2008-11-23T18:54:00.000-08:00

The other day Abbey was talking to me and I thought to myself her teeth are getting crooked. Then a couple hours later we were eating lunch and it dawned on me that she had a loose tooth. It's her first. Is this early? She turns 5 tomorrow. So, when did your kids lose their first teeth?

notice how it sticks out and looks crooked.

Mylie had her first hair cut the other day. She's 2 3/4, now I know that's late for a first haircut. I'm probably the only one that can tell it's been cut, but it was getting very mullety and nappy. I only cut the back, the bangs just don't grow.

In other news... Lately Mylie has been waking up and wanting to come in our room. If it is really early (around 2:00) I make her a bed on the floor, but if it is later (6:00ish) we just put her in our bed. A couple days ago she was in our bed and when she woke up in the morning she started whining about her soggy pull-up. Brandon and I were both sleeping and I didn't feel like getting up so I told her to take off her jammies and pull-up, get a wipe and wipe herself and then put on a new one. She disappeared for I don't know how long (I fell back asleep), when she came back she proudly announced she was wearing a new pull-up. The same thing happened this morning. She's a genius, she can change her own diapers. This is much easier than potty training. I'm sure all of you are thinking: a) terrible parenting and b) if she can change her own diaper, she certainly can learn to do her business on the toilet. I say a) you're probably right, but one day she'll thank me when she has babies of her own and b) I will take any of your potty training tips and suggestions (especially for getting them to go #2 on the potty).

This is what happens...

2008-11-10T14:47:00.000-08:00

...when you let your kids play with your camera.

Here we are making sugar cookies. I guess this is Mylie giving Abbey a taste of cookie dough, who knows I can't really tell.

Can anyone guess the shape of the cookies?

The other day I was on the computer when Abbey found my camera and wanted to take a picture. (this is something that happens often so I usually try to hide it) At the very second I said I don't like you playing with my camera, you're going to ruin it. Crash! she dropped it on the floor. I put it up and didn't realize anything was wrong until I got it out to take pictures of us making cookies.

I guess this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3103034&cp=3250917 is what I will be getting for Christmas this year.

Numbers

2008-11-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

To make a long story short, we don't have any cool pictures to post (more on that later). I've noticed that when the news media doesn't have anything cool to write about, they simply provide filler in the form of meaningless statistics. I'm no different, as evidenced below:

When I quit my job in September, I went back and looked at how much I'd flown in the previous 12 months. Below is a summary of 1 year of my flight history. It makes somewhat nauseous to think about how much this really is:

67 Delta legs - 125,200 miles
23 United legs- 21,250 miles
2 legs on Alaska Airlines - 1,818 miles
4 Southwest legs - 2,368 miles
2 WestJet trips- 2,874 miles
1 Ward Air flight - about 40 miles
1 leg on Wings of Alaska - maybe 40 miles

Totals: 100 legs; 153,630 miles

In the event you don't believe me (Nettie never believes a thing I say), I'll include a screen shot of my Delta profile. I know this is blury. Click on it to make it better, Nettie.

Halloween

2008-11-05T13:42:00.001-08:00

Abbey as Dorthy and Mylie the giraffe

We trick-or-treated Brandon at work and when we got there we were surprised to find Mylie the giraffe's twin. (neither of them like to wear the hoods)

Off they go with Oskar the super dog. Brandon took them trick-or-treating while I stayed home and handed out candy.

Doesn't he look very brave and heroic in a super dog cape. (If anyone is in need of a cape for their dog or kids my sister makes and sells them at Kelli's Online Store. And while I'm doing plugs for people my other sister makes and sells quilts and ponies/clippies here Click For Nettie's Store . ) There's my commercial, now back to the blog (most of you probably wish you had a dvr on this blog and could fast forward through that)

This was half time when Brandon dropped off Mylie and Oskar...

...And Abbey went out for more candy.

Viva Las Vegas

2008-10-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: For all who read Kelli's blog this may be a repeat with different pictures

Last weekend I went to Vegas to visit my sisters Kelli and Jamie without my husband or kids. Every mom should do this at least once in theirs lives, it was so fun and relaxing. No responsibilities or anyone to worry about, but myself. I even told Kelli I was on vacation from changing diapers.

This is cute little Avery and her matching mom. She's a good little baby, we drug her around everywhere and she hardly made a peep.

I got to meet Oakly. He's the inspiration behind us getting a dog.

The joke of the weekend was that we were going to go Chippendale's and drink margaritas, you know, since we were in Las Vegas. So here we are with our margaritas.

btw, doesn't Jamie have a beautiful home.

Kelli on the dance floor. Dancing with her child and dogs. Wow, what a party!

If you look closely, you may notice that we even sugared the rims of our glasses. Sorry Avery you have to be 21 to drink margaritas.

We went to a park in Boulder City and grilled foil dinners (yum, yum). There's something about waiting and waiting after prepairing the dinners at home, packing everything up, driving to your location, realizing you don't have enough charcoal so you have to send someone to the store to get more, lighting the charcoal and waiting for them to burn and become perfect coals, when they are just right (or a little befor in our case) putting on the foil dinners and waiting and waiting for them to cook... makes tin foil dinners taste so good! We also roasted marshmallows and made smores.

Avery, in all her cute chubbiness. (okay, so maybe I changed a few diapers)

We went to Lucille's BBQ for dinner

Here we are at Chippendales, I mean Phantom of the Opera. It was such a good show and the best part: We bought the cheepest seats, but right before it started the usher moved us up to front and center. They were the awesomest seats, The chandelier was right above us. So at the end when it dropped we all thought we were gonners.

I don't want to embarress anyone so I'm not going to name names, but on the way out of the theater one of us may or may not have tripped and took a huge dive all the way down to the floor - splat! We left the theater in tears we were laughing soooo hard.

It was a super fun weekend. We had some good laughs and visits. I was sad to see it end, but reality was calling.

Halloween preview

Halloween party at the church. This is the cake walk.

Abbey and friends and her teacher Miss Cindy at her preschool Halloween party.

Lost Fallonite

2008-10-23T15:37:00.001-07:00

This post is for all you loyal readers from Fallon.

Does anybody know who this person is? I saw this young girl driving up I-15 Northbound today. If you look close, you might notice that her licence plate says "NV Girl" and the licence plate cover says "Fallon Auto Mall". For some reason, seeing this Fallonite got me all excited and I started taking pictures frantically. Eventually, I realized 2 things:

1) Taking pictures at 68 mph isn't exactly safe.
2) She was staring at me as if I was the creepiest person alive.

After she noticed what I was doing, I tried to pretend that I wasn't taking pictures, but looking for a contact in my phone (I don't think it was believable). She also took the very next exit (not that I blame her).

So, anyway, if you see a picture of me or a description of my red Honda on 'Utah's Most Wanted' you now know why...

First Snow

2008-10-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

This is how Abbey pets Oskar

This is how Mylie pets Oskar

if any of you missed the presidential debate, here is a little clip for you.

it seems weird that a week or two ago we were all wearing shorts.

Oskar Ludwig Sorensen

2008-10-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to think Oskar was meant to be in this family (even though Emily is currently planning to sell him to some gypsies). We've only had this dog for 2 weeks now, but I've already seen signs that let me know Oskar is assimilating into the Sorensen Subculture. Without further ado, I give you...

Reasons I Know My Dog is a Sorensen

He is a home-body. I've talked previously of his reluctance to go for walks - but I've recently discovered that it isn't because he is adverse to excercise (this would make him a Mason). He just hates to be away from our dwelling. When I'm ~~dragging him until his paws bleed~~ taking him for his walk, he starts to get really nervous the second we hit our property line. He digs his heels in and refuses to budge until I turn around. Then, he practically drags me home.
He really enjoys a daily nap. Anyone who knows the Sorensens can attest to the fact that they they can find napping opportunities where most would never even dare look. I have watched in amazement as my father-in-law would come in from doing his farm work, and plop into a small (and terribly uncomfortable) leather-covered glider/rocking chair. Within minuets, he is fast asleep, and looks surprisingly comfortable. I have often wondered if this phenomenon is somehow related to the leather. I've even pondered conducting a little experiment - where while he was gone, I would remove the leather chair and then coat his kitchen sink in leather just to see if he would try to climb into it and take a nap.
I've never seen Oskar eat Kraft Singles, Cool-Whip, White Wonderbread, Pop-Tarts, or sugary cereal. Trust me, my friend, you would have an easier time coaxing a Rabbi into eating pepperoni that you would trying to get a Sorensen to eat one of these delicious products of American Cuisine.
He is a comfort-specialist. The guy just likes to get comfortable, and likes a good blanket while he is doing it. This is somewhat related to item #2. You've never seen blankets used so frequently outside of a bedroom until you see a Sorensen girl at home. For crying out loud, Nettie likes blankets so much she created an entire blog about them.
When he gets gas, the whole world knows about it. Emily has been known to run from the room screaming... Oh, wait... this is one way he is like me.

Since I'm once again blogging about my dog, I should give a quick update: For the second time in my life, I have peed on my dog's head. In reality, I didn't so much as pee on him, as he walked into my stream. I was trying to show him (by example) where I want him to start going in the backyard, when the unfortunate little happening occurred. Emily then made me bathe him immediately.

Dog Update

2008-10-03T11:42:00.001-07:00

OK, the pooch is back on my good side. He can stay with us for the time being. we rented Season 2 of The Dog Whisperer and my goal is to become the pack leader.

On a side note, doe anyone know how to rid a dog of 'Dog Smell'? Your hints are appreciated...

Free Dog

2008-10-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

Free to a Good Home

11-week-old Boxer Puppy

Goes by the name 'Oskar', but you can call him whatever you'd like.

Can sit and lay down on command.

Partially housetrained, but makes occaisional mistakes, which seem to be intentional.

Will only go on walks when children are present; will never walk anywhere with adult men.

Snores.

Occaisional farting.

Ate poop once.

New Mason Quadrapeds

2008-09-26T16:38:00.000-07:00

Big Announcement

2008-09-20T22:19:00.000-07:00

There's a new member of the Mason family (almost)...

Meet our new puppy:

He is a Boxer (yes we copied Jamie). His name was Fritz for about half the day, but then I remembered something I've heard about not naming your dogs one syllable names because they get confused with all of their one syllable commands like stay, sit, come, etc. So now he doesn't really have a name. Abbey has been getting the name Freddie confused with Fritz for some reason, so who knows maybe he's a Freddie.

We weren't planning on getting a dog. I had mentioned a time or two that Jamie and Andy's boxer puppy was cute; so when driving home yesterday evening we saw a sign that said 'Boxer Pups for Sale'. Brandon flipped a U-turn and here we are, the proud owner of a dog.

When we went to check them out last night the owner let all four puppies out at once and in their excitement to see us, they jumped up on Abbey and Mylie. Abbey screamed and climbed up Brandon. Mylie freaked out and cried for the rest of the time we were there. They have now warmed up to him (for the most part), especially Abbey. She loves him! She said good night to him about 4 times tonight and asked if he was going to church with us tomorrow.

If you think he looks sad in this picture that's because he is. He misses his brothers and sister.

He's scared too. He keeps going under the deck to hide. Poor puppy, it's hard being taken away from your mom and dad and brothers and sisters.

So far he's a good little puppy. He hasn't pooped or peed in the house... yet. He seems pretty mellow, but I'm sure once he get's used to his new home he'll hyper up a little.

Oh What a Night (mid-September back in '08)

2008-09-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

For reasons I still don't fully understand, I got the idea that it would be fun to have a sleep-over in the tent with Abbey and Mylie. We had a ... time. The girls finally got to sleep around 10:30. Around 3 am, Mylie started an epic tossing fit (in a strange half-sleep state that was nothing less than eerie). We later determined her not to be epileptic, but to simply be searching for nannies (she sleeps with at least 3) - besides, she comes by this behavior naturally: her mom is world renown for her sleeping 'death rolls' that have been registered by seismologists. Speaking of Emily, she slept comfortably in her own bed and decided to make her grand appearance at 7 am, when I got up to go to work. Anyway, here are the photos.

Yeah, that about sums it up.

(for some reason I'm logged in as Emily, but this was Brandon.)

Off My Chest

2008-09-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm just going to say it:

I've never seen a black-and-white photograph that I think wouldn't have been better in color. Embrace technology, people.

Brandon

Firsts

2008-09-07T20:54:00.000-07:00

(Sorry Nettie, I copied your title, but it fits)

Abbey's first day of preschool was 2 weeks ago (yes I am behind). She loves it and it's fun to hear all about it when she comes home. I wish I could peek in a watch her for one day, it's fun to observe your kids when they don't know your watching.

I'm a preschooler!

Mylie wishes she was a preschooler!

This is Abbey and her friend Ashley, who we carpool with to and from preschool

Finding their name tags. Her teacher, Miss Cindy, is on the left. She has converted her basement into a preschool.

Minutes after this last picture was taken, I left with Mylie kicking and screaming because she wanted to stay and play.

Another first... I ran my first half marathon on Saturday. It took place over the mountain in Huntsville. When we got there it was a freezing 38 degrees, but once the sun came up it turned out to be a perfect day for running. Brandon and the girls came and cheered me on about half way through. It was fun to see them and it gave me an extra boost of energy.

About Mile 8

My friend/running partner Nannette. I never would have done it without her.

Me with my cheering squad.

It was a perfect day weather wise and the scenery was beautiful. I finished in 2 hours 9 minutes. It was a fun and rewarding experience and I hope to do it again some day.

Flaming Gorge

2008-08-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago we went to Flaming Gorge and met up with Brandon's parents and Jud and Ashley. It was a nice relaxing weekend, a little of everything in the weather, good camping food, fishing, boating, kayaking, swimming... we had a great time!

The Fam on a boat ride while Brandon fished (yes Abbey is really asleep)

What do you do when you feel like taking a swim, but forgot your swimming suits? Abbey just swims in her underwear, Mylie chooses her birthday suit, Brandon strips down to his bottom G's, at least Jud has the decency to wear his shorts and the rest of us stay dry in the boat.

Can anyone guess what Abbey is doing here?

Back at camp...

James is loved

Abbey and Mylie playing "basketball" (thanks for remembering Ashley)

Notice the tent in the background. That is what we like to call our "RT" (recreational tent) as opposed to the two RV's in the above picture. Juds and Ashley's on the left and Terry and Kathy's on right. We found that there are many advantages to having an RV over and RT... besides the fact that it is a house on wheels, when your fellow camp neighbors blast their butt rock at 3:00 a.m. the people in the RV's sleep right through it.

Abbey met Smokey the Bear, Mylie was afraid of him

Mylie and I at sunset with the moon. The moon is one of Mylie's favorite thing in life, she always knows where it is, day or night.

Abbey and I in the Kayak. She's not a bad rower for a 4 year old. (We've had a lot of fun with our kayak this year, you should all get one and we could have a kayak caravan or have kayak races. It would be a really good excuse to get together.)

This is what happens when Brandon tries to go for a tube ride with Abbey.

Notice there aren't any pictures of fish... is that because they didn't catch any or maybe because there was no camera around when they caught them??? We may never know.

Olympics

2008-08-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

For a few weeks every four years it seems all I do is watch tv. I love the Olympics, especially the summer games. Here are a few of my favorite moments:

How about the mens gymnastics team! Who needs the Hamm twins anyway.

And can you believe that this...

Turned into a gold medal finish for this relay team!

I think that race might be the highlight of the whole olympics (even though we're only 4 days into it). There have been many records broken, some by a long shot in both the mens and womens swimming. Is that swimming pool a couple inches shorter than standard olympic pools? Or are they really that good.

I know you are dying to touch it...

2008-08-08T14:45:00.001-07:00

This beard and a few pounds of fish are my last physical mementos of my trip to Alaska. I know what you are all thinking. Yes, I am exceptionally attractive with facial hair...

"Throughout this vale of toil and sin, your head gets bald, but not your chin."
-Burmese Shaving Rhyme

Visitors

2008-08-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

It's always fun to have visitors. Kim and Aaron stayed with a for a couple days. The girls had so much fun together, but I think their favorite thing was climbing on the rocks in our backyard. Now if I had the mind set of a seasoned blogger, I would have remembered to take pictures of this.

We wanted to ride the gondola to the top of Snow Basin, but it only runs on the weekends. Instead, we took the kids to the Treehouse Museum.

Ashley, Kailyn, Abbey and Mylie playing in the boat.

Playing the drums

Having a tea pary

We decided to take the scenic drive to snowbasin anyway...

Climbing the bear statue

This is the only picture I got of Wyatt. Poor kid, he's the youngest and he was the only boy. Mylie thought she was pretty cool though, she enjoyed having someone younger than her to be in charge of and boss around.

Wyatt and Mylie

I think this picture is funny. It started to sprinkle and the girls were trying to catch the rain drops in their mouths.

After everyone left Abbey kept asking all day "Mom do you miss Ashley and Kailyn" and "Are Ashley and Kailyn still driving".

Thanks for coming to visit Aaron and Kim. We welcome visitors anytime!

An Open Letter Invitation/Allurement/Enticement/Plea to Marty Sorensen

2008-08-04T00:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Marty,

We know you are out there... reading this blog, catching up on your children's lives via cyberspace. I hereby issue you a public challenge: post a comment on the comment board. I know you can do it. We're all dying for it to happen.

C'mon. Make me proud...

Brandon

Offshore Conference

2008-08-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, work can really be a drag, you know? Meetings, stress, office politics, travel...

Not this week, my friends! I just returned from an 'offshore conference' in Alaska's inside passage, courtesy of my cool boss. The Inside Passage is the series of coastal islands that run the southern panhandle of Alaska, toward British Columbia. The area is loaded with thousands of islands, and it is seriously the most beautiful place I've ever been. I was surprised to learn that the entire area is a rain forest - albeit not a tropical one. It is lush green and JAM-packed with life.

We flew to Juneau and took a float plane to an area called Funter Bay. It is fairly uninhabited, except that it contains the highest density of bears in the world. The entire island is about 1600 square miles - and it contains over 1600 bears (for those who are counting, that means there is about one bear every square mile). As the plane touched down in the water, 2 bears poked their heads out of the woods to greet us.

There was a crew of 5 of us, and we spent 3 days on this 42' tugboat. It was brand new, and loaded with everything we needed for survival (steak, eggs, milk, M&Ms, Pepsi, plasma screen TV, etc.)

Have I mentioned that Alaska is absolutely beautiful?

The main goal of the 'conference' was to catch fish. And we definitely managed to do that.

Coho Salmon

3 Big, Fat Things

Halibut (the pretty side)

Halibut (the ugly side)

Crabbing (don't tell my wife or my mother that I'm not wearing a life jacket)

Crab (we would set crab pots when we anchored at night)

Other Strange Creatures (Irish Lord)

This is some kind of starfish. It grabbed on to my bait, and was moving all around.

We were joined on the conference by a bunch of wild visitors. All day long, we would see bald eagles, deer, bear, whales, sea lions, otters, dolphins, etc. It was unbelievable. Occasionally, a whale (or an entire pod of them) would come to within about 25 feet of us. I was not only blown away by the sight, but also the sound. Unfortunately, I never really grabbed a photo that I considered satisfactory.

Look close. There really are 2 bald eagles in this tree.

Finally, here is a video I shot of a whale breaching. I don't know how to edit the first part of it, or I would have made it shorter. Also, excuse the crappy camera work. I was on a boat on the ocean, for crying out loud. This was by no means the most amazing jump we saw (there was about 30 minutes where about 6 of them would do this at the same time, jaws open). I don't really mind that I wasn't able to capture it all with my camera, because no photo or video could ever do justice to the beauty and majesty of seeing this. The whole ordeal was absolutely stunning.

Yes, I'm keenly aware that I sound like the world's biggest idiot in this audio commentary. I was really caught up in the moment.

When the boat portion of the trip was over, we spent a day and night in this little fishing village. It was an awesome little place, where 850 people live year-round. I hear they got 22 feet of snow 2 years ago...

Hoonah, Alaska

View from the front porch of our cabin

Inside the cabin

Also, I have 100's of other photos I'd love to share. Stop by sometime, and I'll probably talk about it for hours...

Anyone interested in a future vacation to the area? I'm already dying to do it again.

(FYI - I don't know if blogging is my thing. This could be my first and only entry. I really enjoy just leaving snyde comments on other people's blogs)

Pictures

2008-07-29T23:05:00.002-07:00

Abbey

Mylie

We're in.

2008-07-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

We're bloggers now! We've joined the bandwagon! We took the plunge!

Notice We're, We've and We are bolded and italicized. This isn't your everyday "mom" blog, it's the Brandon and Emily blog.

A couple weeks ago we bought a new camera and jokingly I said to Brandon "we've got a new camera, I guess we have to start a blog now". That's all it took and Brandon got us all set up on blogger. If it wasn't for him, it probably never would have happened, so you can all thank him!

Here are a some first pictures taken with our new camera...