Blessed

See, Garrett really is a normal looking baby!  After seeing that goofy looking picture of Garrett every time I went to our blog I decided it was time for a new post.

Garrett was blessed on November 22.  My parents came Saturday and left Sunday (I wish I would have gotten some pictures with them).  It was fun having them for the short time they were here.

We are all blessed to have Garrett in our family.

The Kid

I think he's pooping. (Let's just hope so, at least)

Mylie exercising self-control by not smothering Garrett with Love.

Abbey doing her best Jack-o-Lantern impression

Garrett cuddling with Bambi (this was staged by the girls).

Cool Sideburns. OK, the kid isn't bad, either.

Garrett the Kid and his posse.

All tuckered out.

Garrett Davis Mason

Ok, the last time I posted about a new addition to our family, things didn't work out so well. Unlike the new dog last year, I'm pretty sure we'll keep this guy for awhile.
Behold, I present to you, my son:

Before

After

Further Proof My Brother Is Insane

Disneyland

In February, we went with some good friends (Dave and Sarah Prisbrey) to Southern California. We had a great trip, and even visited some family along the way (thanks to Jamie for hosting us in Vegas for 3 nights). Because I'm sick of looking at my last post, here are some photos:

Not many crowds. It was great.

Mylie and Abbey in Minnie's bed.

Lunch with the princesses.

My lunch. Mmmmmmm...

Traditional Souvenir hats.

Mylie was scared of most of the rides. Often, while waiting in line, her whole body would quiver in fear (no exaggeration).

We hit the beach. Abbey loved the water. As the waves rolled across her feet, she wondered if she was moving or the water. It was hilarious. I left my sun glasses sitting on a rock right around here. If any readers visit Oceanside, California, please look for them for me.

Within seconds of setting foot near the ocean, both girls were wiped out by waves. Emotionally, Mylie still hasn't fully recovered.

We also visited Hoover Dam. There were plenty of dam jokes. I hear so much about how much Mylie looks like her mom - I like this photo, because it details that indeed she has some of her dad's genes (look at the belly).

One of Life's Hard Lessons...

As many of you know, I like to be the class clown. I've long considered my role in life was to draw attention to myself and try to amuse groups of people at the same time. In elementary school, I had one move in particular which was sure to get laughs 100 percent of the time: farting. The great thing about elementary school was that you could really amplify the sound of your flatuations off the hard plastic chairs. About once per week, I would sense a quite moment and let one rip. This was ALWAYS followed by roars of laughter in the classroom. I was a living legend at Bates Elementary primarily for this one action alone, and I loved it each and every time.

I remember the day my world came crashing down around me. It was a few weeks into 7th Grade, and I was now a big Junior High student. My Pre-Algebra class was full of new faces and I needed them to know how cool I was. I especially wanted to impress this girl named Holly who sat near me. My moment had finally arived. It was quiet, and I was ready to lay the comedy down. Big time. As I'd done countless times in Elementary school, I positioned my body just right for maximum flatuental resonance. The room stayed silent, until 'Boom'! In my mind, it was flawless - exactly what I was looking for.

Beaming with pride, I gazed around the room expecting to see throngs of laughing kids in awe of my prowress. "Boys and Girls, behold your King", I thought to myself. What I got was the complete opposite - utter silence, mingled with some disgusted looks. I don't think Holly even looked up at all.

Huh? Seriously? Didn't they hear...??? Hmmm, there must have been some other variable here that I didn't realize. Surely things didn't change THAT much between elementary and junior high, right?

A few weeks later I tried again. It was an almost identical situation, which (sadly) produced an identical reponse from my audience. My heart was racing, and something new was happening to me. My face was getting warmer and my ears felt like a radiator, swelling with hot magma. I wanted to ooze my way out of my desk and run down the hall. I actually felt SHAME and REGRET for the very action that had made me a legend in Grades 1-6. Was this what it meant to be embarrased?

It was October, 1987. The day farting stopped being funny.

Small world or Large Guy?

I don't know if this happens to everybody or not, but I am constantly running into people I know. This is to be expected, I guess, when you live 5 blocks from where you grew up - HOWEVER, this also happens to me in the craziest places. Have you ever heard the story where I met the girls from North Ogden while I was in Paris? Or the time I got on a flight to Atlanta and found out the pilot was one of my best friends? I've decided that either this really is a small world, or maybe it is just super easy to pick me out of a crowd because of my enormous size.

Case in point:

We recently returned from a trip to Southern California (more on that in a future blog, I'm sure) where we stayed in a friend's timeshare in Oceanside. One day, we decided to go down to the beach to let the kids play. On the short walk down to the water, a minivan pulled up to us and someone inside was yelling my name. I turned around and saw a familiar face from high school. It was Alison Smith, who married my buddy Boomer. Come to find out, they lived directly across the street from where we were staying. They lived so close to where we were staying that I could pick up their wireless Internet from our room (his network is called 'BoomDog', by the way). I was doubly excited to see a familiar face, because I figured I would be able to watch the Jazz/Lakers game from their house. Sadly, that didn't happen, as the game wasn't televised for them. But it sure was nice to see them...

Grrrr....

So, I had the most sickening sight as I pulled up to work this morning. The parking lot was essentially empty and the building looked dead. Somehow, I had forgotten that today was a holiday - and I showed up to work anyway. Because I was gone all last week, I feel obligated to sit here for a bit and catch-up on my work (amidst blogging). Grrr...

This reminds me of the time that I somehow didn't get the memo about Daylight Savings Time and showed up to church an hour early. I was angry for weeks afterward.

The Weirdos Out There

According to my hit-counter, our blog has been 'Googled' a number of times. The last searches that led weirdos to our blog were:

Nettie Sorensen (Google)
masonology (Google)
flaming gorge kayak camping (Google)
masonology (Google)
masonology (Google)
"change her own diapers" (Google)

Strange. This has led to some discussion about going private. We're not sure if we'll do it or not, but it might happen. If you want to make sure we add you to the list, post your email address here or send me an email: bmason@212resources.com

Worst...Golf Course...Ever...

Well, since my whale didn't spark any interest (you know, it really hurts my feelings when I don't get any comments on this stupid blog), I have decided to showcase my parents' adventures in retirement. They are currently living the dream as Sunbirds in Quartzite, AZ.

Ahhhh... the joys of RV Livin': The open road. Porta-potties. Swap-Meets. Cramming all of life's essentials into a rolling palace on wheels so you can park inches away from other people who share your same ambitions. This is what its all about, I guess.

The metropolis of Quartize, Arizona is a retirement haven (so I'm told). As proof to this, I offer exhibits A, B, and C. Eat your heart out, Pebble Beach...

Exhibit A. The high life.

Exhibit B. I'm thinking that the government must have tested some nukes here. If they didn't they should have.

Exhibit C. I think the bleachers are the remains of a planewreck.

Humpback

Did I ever share this picture I took when I was in Alaska?

(OK, I didn't take this picture, but I wished I did. I did witness this kind of stuff, however).

I know this post is dumb, I was just sick of looking at the Inauguration.

In-Awe-Guration

As most of you know, I attended President Obama's Inauguration. My friend and Neighbor, Cody Watson, got the tickets by emailing Senator Bennett shortly after the election. When his wife didn't want to go, I jumped in. Fortunately, I have a buddy who lives in DC who offered to let us stay with him. So, I used some of my hard-earned frequent flier miles and set off for quite the adventure. In an attempt to keep myself eligible for the family inheritance, I tried for as long as possible to keep this little trip secret from my mother-in-law, but she found out shortly before I left. Pictures below:

This is me with my ticket. I waited in this mob for about 3 hours just to get to the security checkpoint. There were no toilets at this part, and it was the single most people I've ever seen in my life. I was quite the hero to these people, because I was tall enough to look over the crowd and report to the masses what was going on. They called me 'Tall Man'. I was also loaded with a bunch of granola bars, which I gave to some weary people. I kept telling them how I was a boy scout. Little did they know how prepared I really was. I had an orange juice bottle in my pocket that I was going to pee in, if I didn't get to a restroom soon. Fortunately, I never had to use it.

Here is a shot I got of the Obamas.*

A few things became clear to me while attending this event. First of all, the Democratic Party is odd. The place was packed with a bunch of Hippies (you know, the kind of people who throw paint on you if you wear fur), as well as fur-wearing people who seemed to believe they were at a Baptist revival. They were swaying back-and-forth and shouting 'Amen' periodically. They tended to repeat the last 3 words of each stanza form Obama's speech. I can still hear it now, "Unclench Your Fists", etc, etc.

These guys were on top of most buildings. I felt very safe with them there.

The highlight of my trip was when Pres. Bush boarded Marine 1 and flew directly over my head. For some reason, this really touched me. I felt bad that there were people mocking him. Every time they would show him on the TV screen, they would start singing, "Sha-na-na-na. Hey-hey-hey. Goooooodbye." I haven't been entirely pleased with G.W. Bush the past 4 years either, but I hated to see disrespect for the president.

Did I mention that people were everywhere?

This was my view of the event. In a strange way, I felt like I was at Woodstock. It was a total 'Kum-bay-ya' moment. People were crying, kissing, and hugging. After Obama's speech, I saw this chubby Black lady next to me with tears rolling down her cheeks. She just really looked like she needed a hug, so I gave her one.

Emily pointed out to me that I had a bunch of photos of the same thing, so I changed this one. This is my brother and I at the Lincoln Memorial at night. At this point, I was exausted. I began standing at 5:30 in the morning on the subway, and the first time I got to sit down was around 3:30 pm in Senator Bennett's office.

This was my first view. When I first got on the Mall, I headed to the back, to have a little elbow room. Eventually, I realized I couldn't see very well, and there was something (like a stand for TV Cameras) blocking my view of the action - so I moved around a bit and got much closer.



At night, they lit up the skies with these lights. It was obvious that they were Masonic symbols.



The White House. Notice the guards on top.


The place was a disaster. There were no garbage cans anywhere. Trash was piled ankle-high. Miraculously, I went back the next day and it was mostly cleaned up.

I took this picture for my buddy Tom Ferguson who seems to have a fixation on local TV reporters. I pushed Senator Chaffetz out of the way so I could meet this guy. I lied and told him I was a big fan. But I'm pretty sure he knew I was lying when I called him 'John Hollenhorst'. He corrected me and told me his name was 'Richard Piatt'. Meh.

Speaking of second-rate celebrities, here is Don King. It was SUCH an honor. I think he thinks he is a civil rights hero. He is really just an idiot.

Most of you know that if there is anything I love, it is mass-hysteria. I need little motivation to join in on any given craze. So, I had to jump in and buy some buttons. Believe it or not, I even paid full price for them. These kinds of guys were ALL OVER THE PLACE selling anything Obama-ish. I saw Obama shoes, Obama hot sauce, Obama incense and depictions of Obama hugging Martin Luther King, Jr. The craziest of the T-Shirts had Obama in a white robe singing Gospel, and depicted him as some kind of singing Messiah.

While there, we also visited 2 Smithsonian Museums and Manassas (aka Bull Run, the battlefield where the Civil War began). However, Emily dislikes my long posts, so I'll have to skip the pictures. i will leave with one more, as it shows the 4 of us who endured the Inaugural craziness.

Clockwise from left is me, Dan Webber (mission companion and DC resident), Cody Watson (neighbor with the tix and speed-walker extraordinaire) and my brother Trent. Trent drove down from Pittsburgh when he heard I was in town. For some reason, he wore camouflage pants and a hooded sweatshirt, and looked very much like either a uni bomber-type figure or someone looking to distribute religious material.

* OK, as you may have guessed, these guys were Barack and Michelle look-alikes.

Breakfast in the buff

This morning Mylie ate her breakfast nude. I was on the other side of the bar so I didn't realize she was completely naked until she was almost finished. She was supposed to put on a pull-up on (you know, since she changes he own diapers now) and get dressed. When I saw her sitting there without a shirt on I thought to myself, at least her shirt will stay clean.

Still Alive

Here is a little picture summary of what's been going on in our lives for the past 2-3 months

Thanksgiving in Fallon with all the cousins except Morgan, Calvin, Piper and Oakley (not pictured, but enjoyed his first trip on the farm: Oskar).

Christmas

This is Mylie on Christmas morning with a reindeer milk mustache. Reindeer milk tastes a lot like egg nog only its red. The girls left a note for Santa asking for some reindeer milk preferably from Rudolf (because it's red). Some of the other reindeer give green or maybe yellow milk. But all reindeer milk leaves great milk mustaches that last all morning.

Stockings!

Playing in the snow with James and Aunt Ashley

Abbey lost her first 2 teeth. She was really excited after losing her first tooth for about a half hour. Then she got really sad, I found her hiding in her room crying because she missed her tooth.

Cuddling with Oskar.

Painting nails.